| Q. Can I have flower girls in lieu of bridesmaids? | | | | mind. It might be a something very logical. Is your |
| A: How darling! In Victorian England, having child | | | | wedding the next day? If so, let the poor child sleep! |
| attendants was all the rage, and it's still a popular | | | | You will be sorry if you don't! Check in with the |
| British custom. Your only problem? Making sure that | | | | parents, too. Maybe they already have a plan (i.e., a |
| the women (or men) close to you are still on board | | | | babysitter is coming to pick them up at 9:30). |
| to help out with pre-wedding tasks, throwing a | | | | Q. I'm a bridesmaid, and the bride's having her baby |
| shower, and much more. Even the cutest flower girls | | | | sister as the flower girl. I mean, she's cute, but I |
| in the world can't provide you with the help you'll | | | | really don't want to have to be in charge of policing a |
| need for this event. So if you go the flower girl | | | | 4-year-old's every move. Is "babysitting" her one of |
| route, make sure to publicly thank the fairy | | | | my duties? |
| godmothers who help to make your wedding happen | | | | A. Yes and no. For the day of the wedding, the bride |
| (in the program or at the reception) and throw in a | | | | may ask you to check her sister's appearance before |
| nice gift, too. | | | | she goes down the aisle, smooth her dress, fix her |
| Q. My daughter is a flower girl in my sister's wedding. | | | | hair wreath, etc. You might also have to take her to |
| We've had conversations about her attire, but it's | | | | the restroom a couple of times. You can handle this, |
| unclear who's paying. I want her to look picture | | | | we know you can! As for the reception, we think |
| perfect, too, but what's the deal? | | | | you're off the hook. Parents will probably take |
| A. Usually, child attendants' parents pay for their | | | | charge, anyway. When it comes to the party, you |
| clothes, but the bride and groom will sometimes | | | | should be free to run with an older crowd. But, ask |
| purchase a flower girl's dress (or a ring bearer's | | | | what the expectations of the bride are first. But, yes |
| adorable little suit) as a gift. Ask your sister in plain | | | | during the ceremony, if you've been asked, you must |
| terms, so that there are no misunderstandings. If | | | | be someone the bride trusts, so be honored! |
| they're receptive, maybe you can split it, or, you pay | | | | Q. Does the flower girl or ring bearer stand in the |
| for dress, they pay for accessories and shoes. Just | | | | receiving line? |
| keep in mind that, like bridesmaids and groomsmen, | | | | A. Not usually, but if she's daughter or son to one of |
| agreeing to be in the wedding generally means you're | | | | the newlyweds, then they should definitely be |
| willing to purchase an outfit. So, we say go for a | | | | included. This is a big day for them, too. Don't forget |
| multi-purpose gown (the wedding, birthday parties, | | | | her/him. |
| holidays, etc.). Paying for your childs outfit is not in | | | | Q. I'm one of 6 bridesmaids, and I was wondering |
| lieu of a wedding gift(s). So isn't it great our dresses | | | | what the seating at the head table should be. In |
| are so inexpensive? | | | | addition to the 12 attendants (6 guys for the 6 girls), |
| Q. There's some concern about inviting our 6-year-old | | | | there are two 5-year-old flower girls. Is it proper for |
| flower girl (a niece) and 4-year-old ring bearer (a | | | | the girls to sit with us or should be directed to sit |
| nephew) to the rehearsal dinner, especially since the | | | | with their parents? |
| reservation is for 8pm. My fiance's mother does not | | | | A. It's not up to anyone in the the wedding party to |
| want to invite them to the dinner because they are | | | | decide where anyone's going to sit at the reception |
| so young; my parents disagree -- they are part of | | | | -- only the bride and groom can say that. And it really |
| the wedding party. I can understand both points of | | | | would go back to what they gave the caterer or |
| view, but I don't know what we would do with them | | | | event planner for seating arrangements. Still, the |
| after the rehearsal. Who makes the call? The host | | | | young children in the wedding party (under 12) |
| (my fiance's mom) or the couple? | | | | generally sit with their parents at the reception. Its |
| A. There's no strict etiquette -- whether or not child | | | | only fair because the parents are the ones who |
| attendants are invited to the rehearsal dinner is up to | | | | know what they will and will not eat. |
| you ("you" meaning the couple and the hosts of the | | | | Are the flower girls or ring bearers daughters or sons |
| party, often the groom's parents). It is appropriate to | | | | to the bride or groom? If that's the case, then you |
| invite her to the dinner, since she will be at the | | | | should count on sharing table space with their little |
| rehearsal and they are part of the wedding party -- | | | | ones and helping out as much as you can! |
| especially if their parents will be there, too! Perhaps | | | | Remember, this is only one day, try to help make it |
| you and your fiance should try to talk about this | | | | as smooth as possible. |
| issue with his mom to see if you can change her | | | | |